Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Boulders and Profanity

Tyler and I had a row yesterday afternoon over homework. After a week-long reprieve over Spring Break, homework is the last thing Ty wanted to do. I tried to be understanding.


"I don't like homework. Math is no fun. Maybe in a couple of years I'll like it more."

"I don't think so, Ty. Sit down, please."


"I can't do this right now! Maybe this summer I'll be able to spend more time working on math. I just don't like it."

"I know homework isn't fun and it isn't what you want to be doing right now, but you need to get it done. Please sit down."


"I'm not going to do it!" (Silence)


"You're just rude to me. You make me do my homework on the first day that I have it! I have a whole week to get it done. But you just turn into a boulder and run right over me. And it hurts my feelings! You're so rude!"


I calmly listened to him rage. My heart surged with pride at his ability to describe so uniquely how it feels to be young and full of limitations, rules, parents and homework. I have felt that crushing feeling as a young person. It feels as though you have no freedom. It may be strange, but I am grateful that he can freely (if not quietly) share his feelings and can do so with such imagery.

So, I listened. And then I smiled. And then he smiled. I told him I would try not to be a boulder anymore. And I thought that the worst was over. And then he said the following:

"Well, I'm not going to do this. I don't have to! I can just throw this homework right into the trash if I want. What do you think about that?"

***

Spring Break was also full of name-calling. When Emma was busy creating something on the floor, I accidentally stepped backward and ruined her masterpiece.

"Mom! You ... DISHWASHER!"

"Did you just call me a dishwasher? Ouch, Emma."

Noah also told Emma that she was a "Pocket-Head" during one of their squabbles, which caused a surprising amount of tears. Today, Emma called Tyler "Underpants" and I was unable to intervene without laughing. When I mentioned these moments to Chance's Mom, she commented: "I love their profanity." Me, too.




"Love is saying 'I feel differently' instead of 'You're wrong.'"
~ Anonymous

"If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names."
~ Elbert Hubbard

6 comments:

Cailean said...

Oh my, this is the first blog post that has made me laugh so much that I actually peed. Thank you. :)

The Ahlstrom Family said...

A dishwasher?? Now that's funny!! :) I have to admit that I love that Tyler related you to a boulder. I often feel like a pebble being stepped all over - so a boulder would be a big step for me. :) Nice work mom ~ they sound like great kids!!

Travers Family said...

You're such a good mom. I probably would've fought back. Thanks for being such a great example of patience and love! You're awesome and I miss ya! We need to get together!

Unknown said...

You have more patience than me. Granted we haven't entered the world of homework yet. But I use a lot of bribery. You were effective without it.

jack!e @ One Saturday Morning said...

haha how do you ever take your kids seriously? They are so funny! I love their profanity too. =) And I must say, I quite like the last quote on your post. =)

Laurel said...

You really are a great mom! You should be proud of your very clever kids.