Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Happy 5 Months!

Somehow five months have whizzed by since little Mia came into the world.  She is "everything I never knew I always wanted."  (Name that movie.)  I adore her.  She is delicious!  We all adore her and I hope we don't ruin her with too much love.  Another shot from our recent photo shoot:



Mia came along in the midst of a dark time for Chance and I.  We all go through our rough patches, but those first couple of months were enormously difficult.  Having a newborn is always a bit of a challenge.  But I can honestly say I have never felt such despair.  Work and financial stress, marital discord, exhaustion, postpartum depression, whatever ... it all piled on until I thought I would never find happiness again.  I suffered countless nights holding Mia in the wee hours; tears streaming down my cheeks and feeling an incredible loneliness that I feared would consume me.  In my mind I knew that everything we were going through would have been so much easier if she had never been born.  But in that same moment, my heart stopped at the thought of life without her.  I realize now that caring for her kept me sane, kept me focused and just kept me going.  I thank God every day for my sweet Mia.  She saved me.

"In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes."
 
~Martina McBride,
lyrics from In My Daughter's Eyes
 

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